This month’s story comes from a surrogate who did not one, but TWO journeys! Each pregnancy, each delivery, each journey will all be different. No two journeys are the same, but the stories are amazing.
When one thinks of surrogacy it’s a blessing and such a selfless act, but what you don’t think about is the heartache. When I signed up to be a surrogate no one told me of the dark side. My 1st journey was way too fast to really comprehend, it was 11 months from match to the birth of a beautiful little girl and a handsome boy. The pregnancy and delivery were flawless and the babies along with their parents happy.
Fast forward to my 2nd journey where the dark side happens. I was matched with a wonderful IF who wanted to be a dad to a little boy. First transfer was a success, positive pregnancy test. Yay we were pregnant, this is amazing. My daughter and I recorded a video and sent to the dad. He was over the moon excited. My first beta was good then the second one dropped, I was miscarrying. I stopped all meds and let my body do its thing. HOW? WHY? We won’t know why I lost that little boy. What I did know that the IF on the other side of the globe was heart broken yet so positive and so reassuring, my husband and my daughter kept me safe. What a blessing to be surrounded by so much love. I worked with ICRM and we were able to roll right into another transfer. SHOTS SHOTS & MORE SHOTS!!!
Second transfer happens and was successful and another positive pregnancy test and a good beta, but we were all scared, hesitant and nervous. What if it happens again and then it did I was miscarrying another little boy. I cried and was so heartbroken. ICRM let the IF know and then I received the most amazing video message. I could hear the heartache in his voice but the only thing he really cared about was me and how I was doing. I was worried about him. I had the loving arms of my husband and daughter to keep me grounded. I thought oh lord why us, why me… I am a surrogate and this isn’t supposed to happen. This is the tough part, what do we do next? I really thought that I would be dropped and my surrogacy would come to an end. Nope, I was chosen to participate in an experimental biopsy study of my uterus as well as have an ERA done. Matter of fact I had 2 of each done. These were painful and very exhausting. I was ready to give up but my support team was not. The test results came back and we had answers so we moved forward.
Third transfer was here, I was a wreck deep down, what if it happens again. With all the love I could ever ask for our prayers were answered. I felt great and knew this one would be different. Transfer was a success and we had another positive test and a high beta #, yippy it worked. We were all stoked but still nervous. The second beta was real high, then we had heartbeat confirmation. I was able to relax a little, still scared and still nervous. I could feel the love from my IF on the other side of the world. He was so excited. My pregnancy was good with a few exceptions. I had lots of heart burn, indigestion, morning sickness, acid reflux, gestational diabetes and Group B strep. I thrived through the pregnancy taking it one day at a time. I was induced at 39 weeks due to diabetes. It was a different experience, 15 hours later I had a beautiful and oh so healthy baby girl. The look in her daddy’s eyes when he 1st saw his daughter was perfect and such a blessing.
It’s been 5 months since she was born and I reflect on everything that took place in the almost 2 years of trying to get the IF a baby and I am blessed by everything and everyone that was involved. My family and I have the most amazing relationship with them and always will. I still wonder why? Why did it happen, why wasn’t I told about these things that can go wrong and why me. I was chosen to help start a family. It was supposed to be a magical experience. I truly believe everything happens for a reason. I admire his strength and patience and I am forever thankful for my family helping and supporting me through it all. My husband gave me 175 shots over the course of 2 miscarriages, 2 sets of biopsies and 1 healthy pregnancy.
I made 2 families and most of all I grew and learned so much. I hope this helps other surrogates and intended parents. Surrogacy isn’t all flowers and rainbows. We as surrogates are not exempt from complications. We are 1 in 8, as well as we are warriors. BEAUTIFUL ~~ STRONG ~~ SELFLESS
I AM A PROUD SURROGATE