Check out this amazing story from one of our very own surrogates. The video is one made by the IPs for this surrogate. It is amazing to see the incredible relationship which has been built through this journey that will last a lifetime!
Many people wonder and often ask me why? Often times I want to reply “Why not?” In reality- that is my answer. However, the real reason, is because I can- because I am able- because I should. A lot of things can change a person for better or worse. I went through a lot of things growing up. Many things that hurt my heart, changed my soul, but never killed me. Those things made me stronger. The biggest and most hurtful of all was going through a divorce and the loss of my mother within two weeks of each other. January 1, 2014 forever changed my life- I lost my mother that day.
My family has always been big on giving. If you’re wearing a coat and a shirt, you have something to give. You can sacrifice. You can give away your shirt or coat. You had something extra and in reality, a closet full of clothes. When someone else’s house burns down you have extra sheets to give, garbage bags to give, toilet paper to give… It’s the little things in life that we don’t think twice about having until we see someone struggle to get. When my mom left this world at the age of 46 years old, and all too soon, I realized I was lost. I struggled to shed the tears for her. I prayed the pain away. I bottled every emotion I had because my soon to be 3 year old struggled to know where her Grandma Kris disappeared to one day.
When my mother left this world I struggled to find a way to grieve for her. I often reached for the phone to call her. I cried myself to sleep wishing I had one more phone call to hear her voice. Other days I smiled knowing she was haunting me through my daughter and her silliness or attitude that showed up. I changed my mind set that sadness wasn’t an option anymore. I decided when I was sad about my mom being gone I would change it to positiveness.
It’s because my mother has always told me how proud she is when I do things that most people would never do. My daughter selflessly donated her play kitchen she was selling for $60 to a little girl who’s home burnt down in 2016 during the horrible fires in Washington. Just when I thought I couldn’t be more proud she went to her piggy bank and pulled out $5 and some change to give to the little girl “mommy I know we are donating stuff for her, but I want her to be able to pick something out for herself.” My little girl has made me more proud than I could have ever imagined already, and I know that by continuing to do amazing things for people she will continue to have the same heart.
I want to instill in my child what I never realized my mother instilled in me until she was gone- the gift of giving from the bottom of your heart.
I never in a million years thought that being a surrogate was something I could mentally handle. I was shocked to learn that my cousin and a good friend of mine were both doing a journey very close to each other in time frame. I asked many questions I’m sure they were tired of answering. I called and asked what the heck half the stuff they posted about meant. They BOTH gave me more details than I wanted to know. For months I didn’t think about it again, until, the day they gave birth to their “surro baby.” They were elated and overcome with joy for the families they were helping. They laughed, they cried, and they cried and they cried. Baby Blues are no joke. But they overcame the baby blues knowing what they had just done was a miracle. They helped bring a life into a much awaiting family and provided them with a lifetime of love.
This brings me back again to the Why? you might still be thinking. Again I say- Why not? I am healthy, I am able, and I am doing this to make my mom and my daughter proud. I want to leave this world knowing I made a difference in lives. I don’t want to leave this beautiful/crazy/cruel world with an angry heart. I want to leave knowing I did amazing things that others don’t even consider doing for others.
Be kind because we can.
Love strong and without regret.
And share a piece of your heart-
for it will mean the world to someone.
Embarking on this journey has been nothing short of a lot of learning. I have learned the short hand, terms, and silly things us “surro’s” say to each other. An IP is an intended parent- the biological parent to the baby.
I am now, what you would call, a Gestational Surrogate. AKA “Crazy Surro Mom.” IVF (In Vitro Fertilization) is used to create an embryo using the ova/eggs from the prospective mother or donor and sperm from the father or donor that is then implanted into a surrogate’s uterus. This allows the intended parents to have a genetically related child. YES- this baby is 100% their child and will not have any of my DNA.
In addition to the wonderful fathers, whom I call family, I gave the miracle of life to, I have gained a wonderful sisterhood of what we call “surro-sisters”. I am forever connected in a special way with this group that I could not have ever imagined. Every pain staking poke in the rear was well worth the journey and the abundance of love I gained along the way. I am also happy to report in less than 60 days I get to go visit Israel to see my little belly buddy! This experience gave me more family than I could have ever imagined having in a lifetime!