This month we have a feature story sharing what being a surrogate means to them. What does surrogacy mean to you?
Welcome to the feature story that I always thought I wouldn’t do because my journey was so short and sweet. I never know how to describe my story from beginning to end for two reasons.
- Because I remember how it started but I am a Surro4Life and still feel like I am in the journey even though I had my surrogate baby in March 2020.
- It’s hard to organize my thoughts on the whole process and truly describe the experience.
Thinking through it all brings up all the emotions: Excited! Nervous! Pain! Elation!… you think of one and you will probably feel it throughout your journey. I was a very lucky surrogate. I found 3 surrogate agencies when I began searching, dismissed 1 and interviewed the other 2. When I met with Amber, I knew Abundant Life was the right fit and I have never regretted that choice. They cared about the Intended Parents (IP) but they also cared about the surrogates. So, I signed on with them and within a couple months and a WHOLE LOT of paperwork (it’s worth it though), I was matched. 6 months later, I did a transfer and it stuck! I was pregnant without complications and Aiden was born on March 11th 2020 via c-section and was a very happy and healthy baby boy!
You see, when I think about my journey it can be hard not to just remember all the steps that I went through to help someone become a parent. That is why I didn’t ever think I would do a feature story. I found an agency, filled out all the paperwork, passed my drug test and my physical, find a match with an IP, started taking meds and administering shots, schedule a transfer, cross all your fingers and toes that it took so you don’t have to start the shots over, and then you are pregnant for 9 months and hand over this perfect baby to someone who without your help and the help of surrogacy may never have had one. But thinking about it that way cuts out all the best parts of surrogacy, and when I try to include them in it, I feel like I ramble, have crazy long run-on sentences, and have a hard time organizing my thoughts.
When this description comes out, it doesn’t get across why I did it and why I would do it again. I loved the whole experience! Yes, the shots sucked in the moment, but I can’t even remember them anymore. I remember that I had to schedule days with my friends to come over and give me the shots when my husband was out of town. I remember having to show my butt to 3 different people who otherwise had no business seeing it and I was totally fine with it because I was working towards helping someone have a baby.
I remember describing to my daughter what I was doing and why I was doing it so she could know that anyone can have a baby because surrogacy was a thing. We still talk about Aiden and see him in video chats. I think my daughter thinks of herself as his big sister in a sense because she got to be involved. She knew about the shots, might have seen 1 or 2 happen, she got to feel all the kicks, she got to talk to him, she picked out gifts to give the dad. She is a proud surrogacy advocate, because she still tells people I am a surrogate.
Because of surrogacy I am part of a group of women that support each other… but even that doesn’t sound right. I decided to become a surrogate and was welcomed into this group of women and we meet up and have fun. We talk and support each other. We make lifelong friends with those that we may not have met otherwise. My surrogacy journey was amazing but that is mostly because of Abundant Life; they do it the best way.
Just trying to write and rewrite and then rewrite this again I keep thinking “oh yeah, and this” but there just isn’t enough time or space to get it all in. I am a surrogate, but it is so much more than that. Yes, I helped someone have a baby, but I also have a ton of small memories to look back on that makes the word surrogate mean something. Deciding to become a surrogate was the first step and helping someone have a baby was just the end goal, I had no idea what the middle of the story would look like, but all the small moments in the middle are what make the word surrogate mean something to me.