We have a new story to share from one of our surrogates. Try to hold back the tears. I dare you.
Shared with permission.
My name is Kipha. And this is my beautifully wonderful Surrogacy Journey….
When I was 21 years old, I was able to give birth to two beautiful healthy babies. Twins. With my husband having had two sons from a previous marriage, we had decided that our family was complete. But something inside me told me that my pregnancy life wasn’t over. I have two very close friends who had both done surrogacy and I was absolutely fascinated. I just knew it was something that I had to do. So then began my journey into finding an agency.
As a surrogate there are qualifications you must meet. I quickly found it wasn’t going to be as easy as I imagined to be able to help two people become parents. I had delivered my twins at 34 weeks and 5 days gestation, which, by 2 days, disqualified me for a lot of agencies. After two rejections I gave up hope that this was something that I was never going to be able to do.
About a year after receiving those rejections a Facebook friend of mine posted about a Surrogacy Agency she worked closely with needing new surrogates. I simply commented saying “I wish I could be a surrogate.” That lead into many long conversations about the rejections from the other agencies, and how I just felt this was something that I was supposed to do but I was unsure how. My amazing friend took things into her own hands and spoke with a doctor at the reproductive clinic about my situation. That god send of a doctor agreed to at least look at my medical records to see if I would be a good fit. I was overjoyed to even be given a chance to being looked at as a possible surrogate. That meant that maybe not all hope was lost.
My friend then introduced me to Amber, the owner of Abundant Life Surrogacy, explained my situation and we powered on through. After a long couple of anxious weeks waiting for the reproductive clinic to receive and review my medical records, I was given the green light. I WAS GOING TO BE A SURROGATE. I was finally going to be able to fill this void in my heart and help make or complete a family for some very deserving people. I was given the stipulation that I could only do a single embryo transfer, so my chances of carrying twins again was next to none. Which I was 100% okay with. Carrying twins is HARD. I have the utmost respect for women that carry twins, and even more respect for the women who have carried more than one set of multiples!!
Now we were on to the matching process where Amber hand picks a couple that she believes you would work well with to carry their baby. This woman’s matching skills are 100% on point. I interviewed with one set of parents and was immediately in love. Sergio and Iban are wonderful. I could tell just by talking with them how passionate they were about wanting to start their family, and how much love they had in their hearts that they wanted to share.
Once we were matched, we were on to all the boring logistics of psychological evaluation, medical evaluation, and then contract. Once we were through contract the fun FINALLY began. Now we were on to TRANSFER DAY!!
Transfer day is a day that I will never forget. Sergio and Iban are from Spain, so they were unable to physically be at the transfer but, thank goodness for modern technology, we were able to FaceTime while the procedure happened. I will never forget the looks of love and gratitude that they gave me.
7 days after transfer, the morning before my blood draw to see if my HCG levels were high enough to deem me pregnant, I decided to take a pregnancy test. The most beautiful thing I have ever seen, was that test come back positive. I couldn’t even hide my excitement. I immediately made a cute little graphic with a picture of the positive test saying “Miracle in Progress” and sent it to the Intended Parents, my husband, all of my surrogacy sisters. I couldn’t believe that this was actually happening! These more than deserving people were FINALLY going to be able to become parents!
Pregnancy went on as normal. I was able to Facetime Sergio and Iban at every doctor appointment, every ultrasound, and I sent them “bump dates” in the form of pictures of my growing belly every week. We built a very solid relationship that to this day, I will always consider them family.
I was finally able to meet these wonderful men in person at my 38 week appointment. They finally got to hear the heartbeat of their baby for the first time in person, and the look in their eyes… only a parent’s love could hold that much emotion.
Let’s get to the good stuff now shall we. DELIVERY DAY!!
Due to this being my second pregnancy and this little man who was all too comfortable just hanging out in my womb, we opted for an induction at 39 weeks and 5 days. Myself and my husband arrived at the hospital at 7 am. Sergio and Iban later arrived after the Pitocin had been started and my water was broke. I remember that they kept holding my hand, rubbing my back, doing everything they could to ease the contractions as they would come. I remember my nursing saying to me, “The only thing they have been saying to each other is ‘This beautiful woman is giving us our dream. She is giving us our baby.’” After about 6.5 hours of labor it was time. This little boy was making his entrance. I had my husband on one side, my wonderful nurse on the other and both dads at my shoulders. Once this little man, Martin, was born they laid him on my chest and Sergio was able to cut the umbilical cord. Iban on the other hand, was shocked. He just stood at my shoulder squeezing my hand unable to move. Once I realized what was happening, I squeezed his hand a little tighter, looked at him in the eyes and said “Look daddy, it’s your baby boy.” He erupted in tears. He started helping the nurses clean him off. He kept looking at me saying “Thank you, thank you my beautiful Kipha”. And in that moment, the strain and stress that pregnancy puts on your body was all worth it. To see the love that these two dads had for their son without carrying him for nine months, without feeling his little kicks when they drank too much soda that day, or ate just a smidge too much chocolate (come on ladies – we all do it) made everything worth it.
If you have had your own child, you know that indescribable feeling you had when the doctor placed your baby in your arms for the first time? Well, as a surrogate, I was able to give that feeling to someone else. I was able to give them a gift that they otherwise wouldn’t have. I would do it all again in a heartbeat. And I am, actually. Sergio and Iban have decided to grow their family by one more, so we will be embarking on a sibling journey here in just a few short months.
The relationship you grow with the intended parents is nothing short of becoming a family. They send me pictures every few weeks of Martin as he is growing. We were able to talk on his first birthday, and I am really hoping they decide to bring him when his sister is born so I can love on him again.
Surrogacy is a scary, beautiful, wonderful adventure. If you have ever thought about it, ask us how. Ask us all the questions and we are more than willing to answer. This is a gift that you will never be able to give another way. And I can promise you, you will not regret it one bit.
Surrogate for Life.